All That You Are
by Hannah Tennant-Cumberbatch
Summary: They're not the most conventional of couples, but hey; conventional is rubbish anyway. A series of moments between Captain James and Molly Dawes. [James x Molly, oneshots, unabashed fluff.]


_A/N: Yes, this is the second Our Girl fic in two days. No regrets. I just love writing them! This is probably a series of oneshots which I do hope you enjoy. Reviews are lovely! x_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the show etc _

* * *

><p><strong>One<strong>

_Anniversary_

It was Molly who had made it a thing. When the date rolled round again, the day that still weighs heavy on both their bones, she's the one that suggests a day trip is in order—and Charles James doesn't disagree. The loss of Smurf is just as relevant in both their lives as it was one year ago and he feels it his duty, not just as Smurf's boss, but as Smurf's friend, to remember the Private who did not deserve to die. And he feels it his duty to Molly too.

They sit in Charles' car in silence for a while: Molly gazes out the window, her mind elsewhere. She thinks it's wrong that the sun is shining—she knows it's stupid and the world keeps turning no matter who dies, but there's not even one grey raincloud in the sky, like the world doesn't care that her best mate died one year today. Of course, it doesn't. People move on: everyone except Smurf's mum, who is just as broken as she was a year ago. She'll be there, Molly knows that. She never left.

She suddenly finds tears springing to her eyes and once she starts, she can't stop. Thirteen months today she thought he was going to be fine, that she'd helped save his life, and twelve months today that security of having Smurf safe completely shattered in front of her.

Charles flicks a glance over at her when he hears her sobs, concern taking over his features. His spare hand quickly finds itself round her arm, squeezing gently. "Molly? Is everything alright?"

Despite the situation, she laughs slightly, wiping the tears from underneath her eyes with her hand. "'Course. Just bein' a soppy mare. Ignore me."

He doesn't let her go that easily. He's been too close to Molly for too long to let her tears go unnoticed. "Do you want me to pull over?"

"No! No, I'm fine. Really." She looks over at Charles and the unconvinced look he has, shaking her head. "I ain't letting you pull over 'cause of me bein' an emotional wreck, or else we'll never get to bloody Newport."

Charles considers it for her a second before coming to a decision. "I'm pulling over."

She opens her mouth to protest but she somehow can't find the words. It's not often that Molly Dawes loses an argument, but this is a battle she can afford to forsake. Sometimes she needs someone who can look out for her. Actually, fuck that—she needs someone all the time to look out for her, even if she says she doesn't. She's not as bulletproof as she makes out.

Charles turns into the nearest layby and as soon as the engine cuts Molly's out the door, cars are whooshing past her and the cool air clearing her thoughts. She looks at the green farmland that surrounds the side of the road, how endless it is—Smurf skidding along the West Ham pitch, being an idiot, scoring for his shitty Newport football team.

Charles sidles alongside her. His hand finds its way into hers: small fingers easily swallowed in his own. Her eyes don't leave the distance, the endlessness of the cloudless sky. They don't speak for a few moments. They don't need to.

"It's going to be hard," Charles says quietly, "Losing someone you love—it's hard, Molly, even after a year. It's hard in ten years, twenty. It will always be hard, but you learn to cope with it and that's how you move forward."

She eases into him—her head feels so much safer, _saner _even, when it's in his chest. It's proof that he's real. "I know. I mean, it's not as if I go cryin' over 'im every day or anythin', the wanker wouldn't've wanted that. Just some days it feels so weird that he's not 'ere no more."

He kisses her forehead. They stand for a few more moments, then; "Come on. Let's go."

Molly nods, smiling. "Yeah. Alright."

-x-

When they arrive at the graveyard, she's right in thinking it's not empty—people she doesn't recognise, relatives perhaps—and Smurf's mum are all stood round the marble that's still so clean and untarnished, faces sombre and bouquets brimming with brightly coloured flowers. They've brought lilies and carnations, tropical orange and scarlet, although Molly knows Smurf probably wouldn't be fussed about the flowers. She can't very well put a can of lager on his gravestone, though.

Smurf's mum grabs Molly in a tight hug, thanking her for coming to visit, and gives Charles an appreciative nod. She doesn't know why they've come together but she doesn't ask. She's just happy that Smurf still has people who love him.

"We're going to light candles in the church," Smurf's mum informs them, before putting her hand on Molly's shoulder. "You're more than welcome to join us."

"Thank you," Molly smiles wanly, quietly, and Smurf's mum gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before turning away.

Molly turns back to Charles. His expression is serious, carnations held in his hand. He holds out the other one to Molly, who takes it, and they go up to the stone together and lay their blooms amongst the dozen that have piled up already.

"'Wonder if he's still bein' a tosser up there," Molly indicates up at the sky, jokingly, and Charles chuckles softly. She's not a believer in religion, but she likes to think that Smurf's being look after somewhere. With someone, hopefully, who can love him the way he loves them back.

"Wouldn't be like Smurf otherwise," Charles replies, hand skimming the top of the stone. "Do you want to have a moment alone?"

Molly considers it, but then declines. "Nah. He wouldn't want me to be alone." She looks up at him, sincerely, "He knew I loved you, ya know. And I know it made him do stupid things—that wasn't all 'is fault, obviously—but he didn't want me to be alone, even if it wasn't with 'im."

"He always wanted what was best for you. I'll always respect him for that." Charles pauses. "I'll always respect him, full stop. I was proud to fight alongside him."

Molly sighs, thoughtfully. "Yeah." She looks around herself for a moment. "Don't think I can face going into that Church. Makes me think of the funeral. Should we go get a drink in his memory or something?"

Despite the situation, he laughs. So Smurf. So _Molly. _"Sounds like a good idea to me."


End file.
